ANYWAY, while I was getting jakey, this lot were getting their glam oan. I'm only doing the bests this time, partly cos there weren't that many disasters (except George Clooney's missus, JLo, Cameron Diaz's face, Shailene Woodley, Vanessa Hudgens and Judy Greer) and partly because I can't really be bothered.
Bernice Bejo in Elie Saab. Wasn't it actually GAGA who predicted mint would be a big deal this year? Spot on Gaga, this embellished pastel number is stunning, age-appropriate and the epitome of class.
Emma Stone in Giambattista Valli Haute Couture. A tricky one to pull off thanks to the high neck, bow, ruffles and colour, but consistent risk-taker Emma knocks it out the park once again.
Gwyneth Paltrow in Tom Ford. Gwyneth is THE most irritating woman in the entire universe hands down, but I struggle to think who else could pull off something so structured and minimal. Also, glad to see she's ditched the thigh-high split. Wish I could have said the same about Angelina Jolie...
Rooney Mara in Givenchy. Once again it's all about the hair and makeup. I WISH she'd crack a smile once in a while though. It's getting a bit old, that intense stare.
Michelle Williams in Louis Vuitton. Perfect colour, perfect peplum (love that it hits at the exact right spot and doesn't swamp her petite frame) and PERFECT styling with the pale pink clutch. Love, love, love.
Claire Danes in Valentino. I get the impression Claire is more comfortable in 'safer' dresses than this one, but the colour, style and fit actually really suit her. But her best accessory here is that big grin - NOT a dress to look dour in or take too seriously.
Amy Adams in Vivienne Westwood. I never really see Amy looking full on SEXIFIED on the red carpet (or, actually, ever) so I'm pretty happy she uped the ante in this metallic number. Totes hot.
Gwen Steffani in unknown. It's red hot until you get to the shoes. GURL, patent courts are NOT the way to accessorise such a fierce dress. 5/10 so not really a 'best' but whatever.
Lily Collins in Monique Lhullier. Isn't she the cutest? She reminds me so much of a young Camilla Belle... Anyway, this dress is gorgeous with her pale skin and dark hair combo, but it doesn't really scream after party to me. I wish it had been shorter or tighter or SOMETHING, I mean, how is she supposed to get crunk on the dancefloor in this? Regardless, it still photographs fabulous on the red carpet, so kudos.
Finally, let's all just take a minute to appreciate January Jones.
Ahh, my beloved JJ, I'm so happy you've emerged from social hibernation! Now please, proceed to wow us on the red carpet like you used to...
January Jones in Wes Gordon. She just ALWAYS. LOOKS. FABULOUS.In fact, screw it, ama do a Why I Love January Jones post next.
What did y'all reckon of the Oscars red carpet - who was the best of the best and the worst of the worst? Go on, I love a good bitch!