EDINBURGH FESTIVAL TIMES

Last weekend my Mindtwin Carlin and I headed off to Edinburgh for some boozy Fringe Festival fun in the sun :)

It didn't start off particularly sunny though, check out this OH SO ARTISTIC shot taken on my iPhone with one of those new-fangled fish-eye lenses...

Dreich is the word! Once we got past Hearthill though, the sun broke through and it turned out to be a glorious day. We started off with a wee wander up the Royal Mile to get our tickets to see Tony Law, the most REDONK-A-DONK comedian I've ever seen! He ended his set with a song about how he didn't know how to end his set, and plucked small, suspended elephants out of the rafters. Yes. That's what I said.

Again, what an amazing photo, right? In my defence you weren't allowed to take photos during the show and last time I defied that rule I got kicked out so I wasn't taking my chances. But yeah, he was hilarious. SCOOP MUD!

After that we hung about the Grassmarket for a bit where I stood in the longest queue for wine I'VE EVER EXPERIENCED IN MY ENTIRE LIFE and we got kinda drunk to forget about how frustrated and angry it had made me. Carlin spotted Claire Sweeney (so she claims) but I missed her and was, NATURALLY, pretty gutted. But I cheered myself up with some more wine and a chicken burger. It was ace.

Check me trying to get to grips with the fish-eye. LOLZ. A photographer I am not.

See what I mean about the boobs? Channelling the busty-oldentimes-wench look. Not my usual style...

These FOOLS thought it was a good idea to DRIVE DOWN THE ROYAL MILE in the middle of the Festival? Pfft.

Greyfriars' Boaby

Voluminous Brad Pitt

After chillin, getting boozed up and taking lots of close-up self shots for Instagram (duh) we wandered/stumbled through the crazy tourists, touts and jolly miscreants up to Bristo Square, the heart of the festival, where the Udder Belly blow up cow thing is anchored and they charge £4 for a gin. Outrageous!

Udderly huge.

Carlin's pal. I think her name was Michelle. Randomly, we met like 10 Michelles...

Several expensive gins later (I stopped a woman in a very plain dress and told her I thought she looked FAB-U-LOUS for no particular reason. Hello, drunk) we headed over to our favourite haunt of old, my beloved Peartree to meet up with my pal David and his girlfriend Fiona. Whenever I would come through to visit Kirsten (which was A LOT in the last four years) we would always hang out here and you could even see it from her last flat - it was right across the road. When I stayed through in Edinburgh last year I practically lived here. *SNIFF* Basically, it's pretty and has an immense beer garden.

See?

After that Carlin convinced me there was some kind of rave happening back at the Book Festival venue over in the new town but when we got there it was kinda... NOT. So we stumbled along the length of George St (almost crashed right into Scott from Frightened Rabbit but then ruined our beautiful moment by loudly announcing to Carlin "Ah hink thats Scott from Frrrrrrabbits. AYE, AYE IT IS!" He wasn't impressed) and ended up in the swanky Voodoo Rooms for a cocktail before a cheeky Maccy Dees and the bus home.  

Overall pretty much an EPIC DAY OUT. I'm actually a tad bit depressed the Festival's not on every weekend. Such a cliche but the atmosphere is really something else and if you get the chance you absolutely must go. You don't even need to go see hunners of shows, just do what we did - see one and spend the rest of the day chugging wine and gin :) I'm kinda biased cos I love Edinburgh anyway, but never more so than in August.

By the way, I was sent the fish-eye lens for free. Just for clarity innit.