BAFTA AWARDS 2013: BEST AND WORST

OHHHH I've missed this!

 

BEST

Marion Cotillard killing it in a svelter, more peplumy version of THAT Dior dress that JLaw so GALUMPHINGLY wrestled with at the SAG awards, except in a stunning lemon yellow which is by far the hotter hue. Combined with an orange lippy and statement necklace, Marion's the best dressed of the night for me. Obsessed with the design of that gown. Just total sexy genuis, no?

I know, I know, boring again but Anne looks genuinely pretty, relaxed and happy here. It's a nice change as I feel like I've been seeing her look a bit PINCHED and uncomfortable recently. Stop losing so much weight Anne! Really like the shiny studded (?) detail on the Tshirt part of this Burberry Prorsum dress and I like that it stays quite cropped. Do I love it though? MEH. Nah.

Yay! Hurrah for a quality trouser suit! Not enough of these on the red carpet and I'm so glad it's Carrie... I mean SJP rocking this look. I normally hate a keyhole neckline detail but with the velvety fabric, choker-style necklace and freshly straightened hair (due a comeback?) this feels sort of 90s and I'm LOVING that retro vibe. I'm sure this look will divide critics but SJP the smize-master brought it for me. BAYUM!

Jessica Chastain looks like she's ACTUALLY glowing from within

here, no? It's weird, and amazing, and I love it! Electric blue taffeta (or whatever this is) is a hard colour and fabric combo to pull off without looking tacky and cheap, but Jess is winning with her big grin, 40s waves and alabaster skin. Wish she'd taken off those blue jewels though and just gone for white diamonds.

Hummed and hawed over this for ages but my wee soft spot for Amy Adams JUST edged this into a win. I'm not a fan of the big front split, but let's ignore that and look at the pretty lace and embroidery detailing. Glam and sweet at the same time. Like the ruby touch in her earrings but wish she'd gone for a bold lip.

FINALLY JLaw's got her mojo back! Sort of. Maybe? UBER Glum face, but digging that wet-look slicked-back hair and the jewelled Dior gown fits like a glove. Is it just me though, or is she looking a little on the skinny side? I've gone off her a bit recently if I'm honest. I used to think she was hilarious in interviews and stuff but now I feel she's actually a bit of a try hard. Still, I digress, she looks hot. Dressing well on the red carper is obviously an issue so well done.

WORST

Oh Sarah Silverman, I feel for you... Halternecks SEEM like such a good idea at the time don't they? Deceptive bastards. I've yet to see one halter-necked gown actually look GOOD and this is no exception. And all that rusching around the middle? NAW.

 

Caroline GHOSTFACE Flack in a boring, totally underwhelming dress that would have benefitted massively from a chic up-do. I find Flacky majorly offensive in every way and can't even continue typing words about her... 

HALTERNECK DIANA ROSS LACE INSANITY!!!!!

STUPID POINTLESS PINK HAIR TWIRLY ACT YOUR AGE!!

*screeeech* HOLDUP (nanananana). OK, I'm sorry, but WHAT? WHAAAAAT? What even is this?! Ignoring whatever's going on with the face, which is practically impossible as it's so captivating in its horror like a freaking motorway pile up, but for GODSAKE Claudia Winkelshite, brush your hair, take off your tights and put on a proper shoe, you're at the BAFTAs! Dress is disgusting, hair is a riot, face is out of control. I can't even deal...

The opposite of Marion's yellow Dior awesomeness. The cut is dated and the flashback makes the fabric look cheap and crappy. And please lob that awful Dune clutch into the crowd immediately. It's a shame because I see potential for red carpet glory in Andrea Riseborough but she can be very hit or miss. MISS.

Again, Gemma is a babe of life and can sometimes be SO GOOD on the red carpet but every now and again she'll go and do something stupid like this. I mean, WHY? I can respect a bold choice, but this is rubbish and does nothing for her bang tidy rack. BOO.

MARION COTILLARD - CRITICS CHOICE AWARDS 2013

Thanks to Mairead for the headsup over on Facedeath that the red-carpet pics of last night's Critics Choice Awards were up - GO GO GO!

I'm not going to waste any time on anyone else's dresses because, frankly, they were all a bit MEH... except from Marion Cotillard who was my favourite of the night and absolutely NAILED IT in this fabulous Zuhair Murad dress with Jimmy Choos and Louboutin clutch...

Just totally stunning, and I'm loving the hair too - making me rethink my middle part...

What do you guys think of Marion's dress, and did you have any other favourites from the red carpet? I also really liked Emily Blunt's white gown - even if it was a weird length - and slick 40s waves. She, like Marion, almost never gets it wrong. But don't get me started on Jennifer Lawrence and Elle Fanning...

SO EXCITED for the rest of awards season...

TEEN CHOICE AWARDS: FASHION WINS AND FAILS

I kind of hate to admit it but these sorts of posts are my favourite... That makes me sound like SUCH a bitch, right? Whatevs, the heart wants what it wants, and mine wants to slag slebs.

Sunday saw the return of the Teen Choice Awards and as usual there were some full-on fashion HUMDINGERS...

Cases in point:

FAILS

I'm sorry, but Selena Gomez really creeps me out you guys. Face of a five-year-old, body of a teen - it's JUST WEIRD. Besides that, this is a bad dress. It's a horrific colour, super boring and too tight round her middle. No jewellery? Really? Did you have ten minutes to get ready Selena, cos that's what it looks like.

You know, I really want to like Demi Lovato. She seems pretty down to earth, she's had a hard time of it lately and God love her if she isn't trying REALLY hard to rock this ridiculous dress. I really don't know what to say... I mean, I like her hair and her shoes but the insane dress is totally overpowering her. Shame.

 

What the...? No. Is this dress from Coast? Turquoise taffeta?? And those two wee braids, I literally remember wearing my hair like this for the entirety of primary 7, and Nina this isn't a good thing - especially when you already look totes wimpy and childlike. BLAH in the extreme.

I think it's the 90s hairdo more than anything else that ruins this look for me. If Carly had put it up in a topknot, ditched those shoes for something strappy and thrown away that hideous clutch it might have worked. As it is she looks like someone's moderately-attractive Mom. (Also, hunchback much?)

Surely Taylor Swift isn't wearing something cream, flowy and bridal on the red carpet again?! Oh, she is? YAAWWWWWWWWWWWN.

Zooey Deschanel's face. Can we all just take a minute to talk about the BLATANT plastic surgery she's had done here? Those lips... That creepy stare... What happened to everyone's favourite kooky, lovable girl-geek? Seriously, have a look at this site for the close ups and before and after pics. Anyone with EYES can see she's had something injected into her lips, and I don't think this is new either - I've been saying for ages that on New Girl they've slowly been getting bigger and bigger. Utterly shameful, she was gorgeous before. I'm super disappointed in her and I've lost any respect I used to have for her whole quirky-girl image thing.  So, aye, nice dress Zooey but take yer collagen and bolt.

I don't know why Kendall and Kylie are looking so smug in these boring dresses. Navy blue? Maroon? High-necked? NO. Also, I'm sorry Kylie but those extensions are out of control...

JoJo stopped by on her way to Sugar Cube! Seriously, this is JoJo. Remember her?! I'm kind of ashamed to say I do... Who will randomly pop up next, Stacy Orrico? Vanessa Carlton? Lolz! God, takes me back... I guess she must be relevant now, maybe in some kind of teen drama that I've not heard of because I'm an old wummin, but I'll always remember her from the days of Leave (Get Out) circa 2003. Good times! Anyway, JoJo's skirt is ho-bag short and she looks like she's about to beat me up. I guess it's not THAT offensive though, the more I look at it. But maybe ease up on the black dye-job and get yer split ends trimmed.

Holy crap, Jordin Sparks, is this a bad beach cover-up? The black is too harsh, it's too short and too low cut (always one or the other, duh!) and why the purple shoes? What's that all about?

Thankfully though, there were some who managed to pull the whole horrible thing back from the brink of fashion oblivion...

WINS

BIGGEST SHOCK EVER! A photo of KStew looking at least MILDLY comfortable in her own skin, absolutely rocking that patterned blazer and pointy stilettos. Genuinely never thought she had it in her, well done pal!

Lea Michelle always leans for the slightly slutty and we just need to let her get on with it. Let's face it, we all know a girl like this, and it's not fair to hate just cos she loves to get her legs oot and slap on the tan. This is actually a really nice dress which fits her perfectly, plus I like her loose waves, pared down makeup and side parting. Overall, a win - possibly her first.

Love this because it's sort of fugly. It probably shouldn't work at all - olive green, sicky yellow and brown? But, I have to admit, on zoe Saldana's skin tone these colours look fantastic. Also, it's a brave wummin (or an extremely thin one) who is comfortable adding volume round the hips and ass, but Zoe gets away with it because she's so waif-like.

Whoever you are, I love the colour of your dress. I'm a huge fan of orange on the red carpet and this is the right way to rock an extremely tricky colour. Interesting neckline, relaxed hair and gold accessories. I like.

Arty, you're WALKING!!!! OK, no, but seriously, I love Kevin McHale's swag! Must take some balls to wear this, I mean it's a bit random, but just look at his wee face, he knows he's got it. In my opinion it's the shoes that make it.

This probably shouldn't even really be here since I'm kind of indifferent to the outfit, but I'm sort of a little bit maybe slightly IN LOVE WITH DARREN CRISS, so, whatever. He's a win. Also, his baby blue watch and pink sunnies make my heart happy. As does his grin... And his hair...

The ultimate of ultimate fashion WINS and WINS IN GENERAL. The return of No Doubt! Every single thing about this ensemble look is perfect, but in particular Gwen's sunnies and sleeveless jacket. Does she age at all? SHE IS FORTY FREAKING TWO you guys! What a woman. What a band. What a performance! The song I'm a little undecided about but still, who cares, they are amazing and that's that.

And here's one of my faves from Tragic Kingdom just for a wee Suicide Tuesday treat :)

GOLDEN GLOBES 2012 BEST AND WORST

So by now you've probably read at least a hundred of these Golden Globes summary posts but what the hell, I'm chucking my opinion into the bitchy swill bucket that is a best and worst roundup. You know the drill.

The Bests:

Angelina Jolie in Atelier Versace

This is the BEST of the bests. I have never seen an Atelier Versace gown look bad on the red carpet, ever. Oh Jolie, you shut it down. Check the withering stare. SHE KNOWS this is a stone cold hit.

Claire Danes in J. Mendel

I love Claire Danes. I love her now, I loved her then (skip to 6.40), and I love her in this simple, classic monochrome J Mendel dress. It's actually backless so there's some drama going on when she turns round but I like it from the front too. She looks comfortable and elegant. Plus she brought her Maw. I LOVE YOU CLAIRE DANES.

Emma Stone in Lanvin

The colour of this Lanvin gown contrasts beautifully with Emma's porcelain skin and it's sexy yet still classy (Lea Michelle, take note). Also, I'd happily rock that phoenix-encrusted belt. I'm not falling all over myself in love with it, but it's definitely a safe all-rounder.

Evan Rachel Wood in Gucci

ERW often has the tendency to about 45 years old on the red carpet but this time she got it right. It's nice that she's not shoving her gothy side down our throats, but this Gucci number is still dark and seductive enough to kind of hint that she's a totes rebel behind the scenes. Loving the under-done makeup too. Anything else and it would have been too much. Smug it up ERW, you look fierce.

Kelly MacDonald in Lorena Sarbu

This is the best I've ever seen Kelly look. She got slightly overshadowed on the night what with Jolie, Charlize and Mila etc. stealing the limelight but this dress/overall look deserves some massive snaps. I'd maybe have liked to have seen something a bit more interesting with the hair - maybe a loose side bun? - but that's me being super pernickity. All in all this is definitely a 9.5 for me. In fact, the more I look at it the more I think it's my favourite dress of the night...

Natalie Portman in Lanvin

Loads of folk were bitching about the boxy shape of this gown and the 'distracting' side train but I really love it. We all know Natalie's got a smokin' hot bod under there and I like to see her going for something a little more structured for a change. Plus, I'm sorta feeling pink at the moment. DID I REALLY JUST SAY THAT?

Rooney Mara in Nina Ricci

The gown itself is fairly plain (similar to January Jones' red Atelier Versace from last year) but what I love most about Rooney Mara here is her makeup. It's absolutely flawless. Seriously, just look at that face. I felt the makeup was fairly tame this year, minus the odd red lip here and there, but this smouldering dark eye and fierce contouring REALLY stood out for me.

The Worsts:

Charlize Theron in Dior

The heinous Kelly Osbourne et al were all fawning over Charlize and this disgusting sugary number complete with infantile Alice band. FOR WHY? Who knows, it absolutely escapes me. There's far to many things going on at once - that weird ruffling around the middle, random embellished bit, plunging neck, a split skirt AND a train? AND a bloody hairband? No. Just... No.

Zooey Deschanel in Prada

Oh Zooey. See, it starts well - from the armpits up I love it. Gorge face, gorge hair, gorge lime green sparkly...oh no, wait, what the hell is happening from the armpits down? I don't like the weird sideways-graduated effect of the sequins and I also don't like that slinky bias-cut skirt, which looks too long and clingy. The contrast of the colours and textures just doesn't work for me. At all.

Kate Beckinsale in Roberto Cavalli

Oh hey there, Victoria Beckham's not-so-subtle-boob-job-body circa 2007. Dated, boring, predictable. How exactly is Kate Beckinsale still relevant? Honestly, like why do we care about Kate Beckinsale? I do NOT get her.

Lea Michelle in Marchesa

Oh. My. God. This is horrendous. It's a shame because it's not really the dresses fault, it's just totally inappropriate for the Golden Globes and it clashes horribly with the frumpy up-do and general non-sexiness of Lea Michelle. That fact is clearly lost on her though - did you SEE the poses she was pulling for the paps? Positively glamour model-esque. Lea reminds me here of a bad Halle Berry who also tends to go for an overtly sexy dress and always misses the mark. This one was way off.

Nicole Kidman in Versace

Yeah, check that face out. You KNOW this is bad, doncha Nicole? Horrible colour and it does nothing for her boobs or arms. Her hair MAY have been perfectly coiffed and curled at one point, but here it looks like she got caught in the rain and didn't have time for a sneaky re-tong. Bad news.

Reece Witherspoon in Zac Posen

Someone on Twitter said Reese looked like a bad Pamela Anderson without the boobs, and I can TOTALLY see it. This Zac Posen dress is probably like ten thousand dollars or something but here it looks like cheap taffeta, and I'm not convinced it properly fits at the boobs either. Plus, get your roots done, Reese. There's no excuse.

Honorary Mention:

The Dug from The Artist looking dapper.

 BUT WHERE THE HELL WAS JANUARY JONES??? Shes my red carpet FAV and she wasn't there? I am distraught.

So that's my round up, whaddya all think? Have I left anyone out or been too harsh?