ZARA: BACK IN BLACK

I've decided I'm going to get back in touch with my inner goff this winter. Over summer I enjoyed a bit of an unexpected love affair with all things floral, and it was mighty nice while it lasted, but after I spotted THIS adorable wee goff in Look magazine this week...

..and read THIS article by my pal Carrie at The Herald, I'm full on obsessed with all things black again.

Zara has a FIT collection of classic black pieces for autumn and winter including leather, embroidery, studs and chunky knits for a hot, GROWN UP GOFF look. What do you reckon? Banging, right?

I. NEED. EVERYTHING. It seems the less money I have, the more fantasy wishlists I create - torturous! Anyone else do that? I know you do, don't EVEN pretend.

Also, sorry this post is so similar to the last one, but, like, shut yer freakin gob OK? HAPPY FRIDAY!

AUTUMN TOPSHOP WISHLIST

After feeling pretty uninspired by Topshop recently (What was with all the bustier-style cropped tops and tie-dye denim for summer? Sheesh, way to completely alienate anyone over 17, TOPPERS!), along comes a whole SLEW of autumn winter goodies to lust over. Joy!

Anyone else just VASTLY prefer the autumn highstreet offerings in general? I can't be alone in this, surely?! Anyway, here's my favourites :)

Black lace cropped top.

Wait, wasn't I just slagging cropped tops? I'm a FICKLE MISTRESS right enough! But, see, this one's OK cos it's black lace which already means it's badass, plus it's got long sleeves and doesn't look TOO mentally cropped. I imagine this paired with my high-waisted faux leather skater skirt from H&M and Litas. Winter night out outfit sorted!

Winter floral print open-back tunic

The eagle-eyed among you might have spotted that this is EXACTLY the same as another floral tunic I just bought earlier in the month, but I saw this the other day and fell head over heels. I now need to own both. Don't judge me.

Fitted red cross dress

Love this. I was in two minds in the shop cos the 10 was quite clingy (hello wobbly bits) but 12 wasn't quite fitted enough - literally the story of my life with bodycon stuff in Toppers! But as soon as I left the shop I regretted not buying it and I may well nip in on my way home from work today to pick it up. I'M SO BAD! Not 100% sure where to wear it though - it's a bit MUCH for work, but the fabric is quite thick (almost woolly) for a night out? Hmm.

Mohair boyfriend coat

It's kind of ridic to be lusting after this since it's VERY like my winter coat of last year (fondly nicknamed the hairy vagina coat) which is still going strong, but I'm a sucker for mohair and a boyfriend shape, plus it has cute buttons and pockets...

Maroon Mary Janes

I wish I was going back to school just so I could wear these with my school uniform, but in reality I'm pretty sure I'd never have an occasion to wear such beacons of pretty preppy goodness, made all the more edgy by the slightly too-thick sole. ALMOST creeper-esq. Still doesn't stop me wanting them though. Plus that coat and these shoes are giving me the MARGOT TENENBAUMS bad style...

Lipstick in Mexican Wave by Louise Gray for Topshop

I've been LOVING orange lipsticks recently and have been swithering about getting MAC's Morange for a while...until I spotted this wee potential alternative! Slightly more red/coral than the 'true orange' of Morange, this would make a poifickt segway from red to orange for winter. No?

Cosmic print pyjama sweater and bottoms

I. NEED. THESE. My current "pyjamas" are absolutely abysmal - old, mismatched and generally mortifying. This winter I absolutely HAVE to have this cosy cosmic pairing. Maybe then I might be able to open the door to the postman once in a while without CRINGING like the utter jake I am.

What do you guys reckon, are you excited for Topshop's new season offerings?

CAPYBARA... NO, WAIT, CHAOPHRAYA

Last Tuesday my pal Jenna and I were invited along to check out Glasgow's newest swanky Thai restaurant, Capybara. I MEAN CHAOPHRAYA. I'm not even joking you guys, I like to think I'm a moderately intelligent gal but you've no idea the issues I have with pronouncing that. I just can't get my mouth around it at all, so be GLAD you're reading this and I'm not actually trying to describe it to you because I've been calling it Capybara whenever anyone's asked. (And just for reference, this a capyabara - the world's largest rodent. Basically a giant rat you could ride like a donkey. *SHUDDER*)

Anyway, yeah, Chaophraya. Here comes the science!

In July 2012, Chaophraya opened Europe’s largest Thai restaurant in Glasgow! Set in one of the city’s most iconic buildings, The Townhouse on Buchanan Street, it will offer guests the ultimate Thai dining experience in a spectacular setting.

With authentic dishes created by award-winning Development Chef, Ron Tammakeysar, diners can enjoy an array of gastronomic delights. There will also be the introduction of an exclusive range of Scottish-Thai fusion dishes which can be followed by a glass of whisky from the restaurant’s extensive collection.

I do love me a free meal - a girl's gotta eat- but ESPECIALLY if it's Thai since that's one of my favourite kinds of foods. I mean, there's not really much I won't eat, but Thai is right up there. We were invited to sample the Thai Tuesday deal which consists of a sharing platter of goodies and a cocktail for £9.99 per person. It was meant to be served in the slightly less formal Palm Sugar Lounge downstairs but we were whisked straight up to the restaurant which is P.O.S.H! I had to actually check cos I figured they'd made a mistake seating us up there (and I think they probably did) but they insisted we could have the Thai Tuesday in the restaurant as well. Which is what we got. Along with two extremely strong and delicious frozen margaritas...

I wore the cosmic Evil Twin dress cos I'm obsessed with it.

The sharing platter was mighty tasty, if a little small. Still worth £9.99 each though, especially given the fact the cocktails alone are £7.50! Our platter was made up of chicken satay, shredded spicy pork, chicken spring rolls, prawn tempura and spicy duck salad. YUM! But I do think it's maybe meant to be more of a lunch or a snack rather than yer actual tea. Plus, yi know, Jenna and I are a pair of absolute munchers, so we also got a portion of the special beef fried rice to share which we ate so fast I couldn't get a photo but it was delish, and then a flowering tea each too.

Before we went I'd read some lukewarm reviews about slow service but we had no issues like that at all. In fact our waitress, whose name I've now STUPIDLY FORGOTTEN like an eejit, was extra lovely and accommodating, as was the girl at the front desk who gave us this wee bow as we walked in. CUTE!

Overall we would both give it a solid 8/10. The main menu is quite pricey for a pauper like me, but the Thai Tuesday deal is definitely worth a tenner, the service is great, the surroundings are totally lush and the food is scrummy. BOOM, there's yer dinner. (Literally.)

Chaophraya is located on the corner of Nelson Mandela Sq and Buchanan Street on the opposite corner to Urban Outfitters, next to the underground. If you live in Glasgow or are visiting, you should definitely check it out.

EDINBURGH FESTIVAL TIMES

Last weekend my Mindtwin Carlin and I headed off to Edinburgh for some boozy Fringe Festival fun in the sun :)

It didn't start off particularly sunny though, check out this OH SO ARTISTIC shot taken on my iPhone with one of those new-fangled fish-eye lenses...

Dreich is the word! Once we got past Hearthill though, the sun broke through and it turned out to be a glorious day. We started off with a wee wander up the Royal Mile to get our tickets to see Tony Law, the most REDONK-A-DONK comedian I've ever seen! He ended his set with a song about how he didn't know how to end his set, and plucked small, suspended elephants out of the rafters. Yes. That's what I said.

Again, what an amazing photo, right? In my defence you weren't allowed to take photos during the show and last time I defied that rule I got kicked out so I wasn't taking my chances. But yeah, he was hilarious. SCOOP MUD!

After that we hung about the Grassmarket for a bit where I stood in the longest queue for wine I'VE EVER EXPERIENCED IN MY ENTIRE LIFE and we got kinda drunk to forget about how frustrated and angry it had made me. Carlin spotted Claire Sweeney (so she claims) but I missed her and was, NATURALLY, pretty gutted. But I cheered myself up with some more wine and a chicken burger. It was ace.

Check me trying to get to grips with the fish-eye. LOLZ. A photographer I am not.

See what I mean about the boobs? Channelling the busty-oldentimes-wench look. Not my usual style...

These FOOLS thought it was a good idea to DRIVE DOWN THE ROYAL MILE in the middle of the Festival? Pfft.

Greyfriars' Boaby

Voluminous Brad Pitt

After chillin, getting boozed up and taking lots of close-up self shots for Instagram (duh) we wandered/stumbled through the crazy tourists, touts and jolly miscreants up to Bristo Square, the heart of the festival, where the Udder Belly blow up cow thing is anchored and they charge £4 for a gin. Outrageous!

Udderly huge.

Carlin's pal. I think her name was Michelle. Randomly, we met like 10 Michelles...

Several expensive gins later (I stopped a woman in a very plain dress and told her I thought she looked FAB-U-LOUS for no particular reason. Hello, drunk) we headed over to our favourite haunt of old, my beloved Peartree to meet up with my pal David and his girlfriend Fiona. Whenever I would come through to visit Kirsten (which was A LOT in the last four years) we would always hang out here and you could even see it from her last flat - it was right across the road. When I stayed through in Edinburgh last year I practically lived here. *SNIFF* Basically, it's pretty and has an immense beer garden.

See?

After that Carlin convinced me there was some kind of rave happening back at the Book Festival venue over in the new town but when we got there it was kinda... NOT. So we stumbled along the length of George St (almost crashed right into Scott from Frightened Rabbit but then ruined our beautiful moment by loudly announcing to Carlin "Ah hink thats Scott from Frrrrrrabbits. AYE, AYE IT IS!" He wasn't impressed) and ended up in the swanky Voodoo Rooms for a cocktail before a cheeky Maccy Dees and the bus home.  

Overall pretty much an EPIC DAY OUT. I'm actually a tad bit depressed the Festival's not on every weekend. Such a cliche but the atmosphere is really something else and if you get the chance you absolutely must go. You don't even need to go see hunners of shows, just do what we did - see one and spend the rest of the day chugging wine and gin :) I'm kinda biased cos I love Edinburgh anyway, but never more so than in August.

By the way, I was sent the fish-eye lens for free. Just for clarity innit.

RECENT PURCHASES: AUGUST

Another Recent Purchases post to remind me why I need to go on a spending ban QUICK SMART.

It'ss something I've been SERIOUSLY considering, because, quite frankly, my spending is out of control. Honestly. And bear in mind I haven't even included the Motel or Evil Twin dresses...

I need help...

Sheer floral open-backed tunic - Topshop £38

This was a totally unnecessary purchase, but I'd been eyeing it up online and when I tried it on in the shop it just sat so nicely with it's wee three-quarter sleeves and open back and pretty print that I caved. I'm weak.

High-low floral tea dress with open back - Topshop - £48

I went to Edinburgh for the festival this weekend (photos to come) and I knew I wanted something floaty and pretty to wear for a day boozing in the capital. It's been so muggy and warm recently that I didn't want to wear tights if I could absolutely help it, and when I spotted this wee number it ticked all the boxes! The high-low detail makes it really comfortable, especially if you're like me and don't love getting your pins out, plus the open back adds an interesting touch that stops it from being too granny-ish. One thing I'll say though is that it's cut quite low at the front and it's always falling forward. More than once I found myself  having to HOICK it up for fear of flashing a boob or two, and Carlin nicknamed me Tits McGhee for the day - so make of that what you will!

MAC sheen supreme lipstick in Blossom Culture

Y'all will probably be aware of my obsession with Cut a Caper by now, and how it's FRUSTRATINGLY permanently out of stock - sob! Well I think I've found the next best thing in Blossom Culture - a sheen supreme lippy which has all the pigment of a traditional lipstick but the high-shine finish of a gloss. It's ALMOST VIRTUALLY the same colour, maybe slightly more muted, but feels very moisturising on the lips and comes in a much more attractive bullet than the normal MAC lippies, no? It's just so CLASSY looking! Only thing is because of the finish it doesn't last very long and it WILL melt in the heat. Trust me!

MAC mineralise blush in Dainty

This is maybe the most pointless purchase of the lot considering I am still loving my Accessorise blushers and I just recently found my Sleek blush in Pixie Pink - which I adore - hiding in my underwear drawer... But LOOK HOW PRETTY! I always thought Dainty was a very pale pink, but actually in real life it's a little warmer in tone and goes with both Blossom Culture and Cut a Caper a dream. It's finely milled and very pigmented with a slight sheen, but not as much as I was expecting from a mineralise blush. Beautiful, but yes, totally unnecessary. Someone stop me.

MAC select cover up in NC20

This is actually a total fail of a purchase. Number one it's in the wrong shade - WAY too pale and yellow - despite the fact I was actually matched at the new MAC counter in Debenhams Silverburn. I'll be honest and say I'm not convinced the sales assistant had any clue what she was doing but I bought it anyway cos I needed a new concealer and I kind of felt like I had to after she'd slathered it on my face.

Also, I'm pretty disappointed with that MAC concession in general. When I went in last week they didn't have ANY of the Heavenly Creatures collection and couldn't tell me when they would, they'd never even HEARD of cut a Caper let along got it in stock, and no-one knew where anything was. Everything just seemed a bit haphazardly placed and unprofessional. BUT, at least a sales assistant actually approached me and asked if I was being served which makes a massive change from the MAC in Frasers where I've lost count of the times the sales assistants have actually full on IGNORED ME or continued to gossip and chat at the till making everyone wait. That MAC needs to seriously sort out its customer service issues.

AAAANYWAY, yeah, so this is the wrong shade and doesn't offer anywhere near the amount of coverage it claims. Fail.

Real Techniques blush brush

I needed a new tapered face brush and I'd heard this was the perfect one. In reality it's one of the softest brushes I've ever stroked on my face (eew) but it's definitely too big to be used for blusher in my opinion... Unless you have huge cheeks? I dunno. But yeah, the tapered tip makes it perfect for light contouring and adding powder to the t-zone. Before this I'd been using a kabuki brush for powder and bronzer but I found it didn't give much control over placement of product and often made the powder look too cakey. All issues which this brush avoids. Plus it's like a tenner or something. Score!

Caudalie Beaty Elixir

I went without this for AGES but now I'm totally hooked again. For a while I'd forgotten why I loved it so much in the first place and was happy just using my Liz Earle skin tonic, BUT NO MORE. This amazing toner spray smells absolutely gorgeous and really does VISIBLY shrink pores. But also, I feel like after I've used it my other products (serums, moisturisers and primers) sink into my skin better and actually WORK better too. I really honestly feel like whatever's in this makes my skin DRINK UP whatever else I put on it, especially at night, which, when I'm using my beloved Advanced Night Repair, makes me a very happy bunny indeed. 

Garnier Skin Naturals dark spot corrector

What's that, another skin-tone lightening moisturiser designed to fade pigmentation and scarring? SURELY NOT! Y'all probably know by now about my never-ending search for radiant, even skintone and this is just the latest product in that epic quest.

I'm still using a mix of the Caudalie vinoperfect serum and the Origins mega bright serum, both of which I like, but I couldn't resist giving this a go on top. I've been using and LOVING the Lancome Hydra Zen as a daytime moisturiser for ages now, but over the past few weeks with this sweaty and humid weather it's been feeling a tad heavy on my skin. By contrast, this is a light fluid moisturiser that dries quickly with no residue and makes a great base for makeup. I wouldn't recommend it if you have dry skin, but for oily/combo types it's perfect. I'm really liking the consistency of this and the pleasant smell reminds me of a product from donkeys ago that I cant put my finger on... It's too early to tell if it's actually doing anything, and I don't expect particularly dramatic results for the drugstore price, but I'll keep using it anyway until it runs out or until the weather takes a turn for Autumn. Which I for one CANNOT WAIT FOR.

So yeah, that's totally REDONK-A-DONK. Anyone got any good tips for avoiding the shops?