KARL WHO?

KARL by Karl Lagerfeld at Net a Porter... Why? Because it's the most perfect collection ever and I can't stop obsessing about it. Actuals.

These bits in particular...

I mean, it's REDONK good, right? And sure, the dresses and jackets are over a grand, but some of the other bits n pieces are surprisingly affordable, like that iPhone case is only £35 yo (BUYING) and those leather fingerless gloves are £85 (BOUGHT). As for the insane bikini, who DOESN'T want Karl Lagerfeld's cameo on their boobs n butt? That's a redundant question, surely.

By the way, y'all may have been expecting a Halloweeny type post but NAW! I was working lates over the weekend and on actual Halloween night too, so, ALAS, yet another year spent jealously "liking" pals costume pics on Deathbook whilst chugging tea and watching The Sixth Sense (why is it on every single year?). But thanks to this collection and this awesome wee dude on google images, I'm ALL SET for my costume for next year...

IT'S HAPPENING.

ZARA: BACK IN BLACK

I've decided I'm going to get back in touch with my inner goff this winter. Over summer I enjoyed a bit of an unexpected love affair with all things floral, and it was mighty nice while it lasted, but after I spotted THIS adorable wee goff in Look magazine this week...

..and read THIS article by my pal Carrie at The Herald, I'm full on obsessed with all things black again.

Zara has a FIT collection of classic black pieces for autumn and winter including leather, embroidery, studs and chunky knits for a hot, GROWN UP GOFF look. What do you reckon? Banging, right?

I. NEED. EVERYTHING. It seems the less money I have, the more fantasy wishlists I create - torturous! Anyone else do that? I know you do, don't EVEN pretend.

Also, sorry this post is so similar to the last one, but, like, shut yer freakin gob OK? HAPPY FRIDAY!

VERSACE FOR H&M: TOP PICKS

I must confess straight off the bat that I'm not always a lover of these designer/highstreet hookups and I'd even go as far as to say I HATED the last Lanvin for H&M collection with a burning passion. Thankfully this time round with their hotly-anticipated Versace collab, everyone seems to have got it right. Hurrah!

So I KNOW we've all seen it and talked it to death, but just for the  hell of it here are my favourite looks from the collection which hits the shops on Thursday.

Not sure if this is a top and skirt or just a dress but either way ME LIKEY. I don't much care for the rest of the prints in the collection - pink hearts etc, but this blue azure, leafy palm and leopard print hits the spot.

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This look totally SCREAMS Versace in yer face, right? Necklace, aye. Dress, aye. Shoes, NAW. Two outta three ain't bad. The little gold number is perfect for Christmas parties but beware unless you're super slim and petite or modelesque. I wouldn't wear it myself but I'd love to see it on someone who could pull it off.

Black leather and gold, NOW YER TALKING! Just a few of the leather jacket looks in this collection. Love the contrast in texture between the jacket and skirt- I usually like to try and mix up the fabrics if I'm wearing head to toe black myself. Basically I would rock everything here.

I don't actually own a gilet - weird - but I now feel very strongly that I should. Immediately.

If I met a dude wearing these breeks and jacket I'd have to rob him of his dignity of them. Especially that jacket.

Different breeks, same insane love for them. And there's that awesome tropical print again. Swoon.

Masculine, demure, modest, unassuming... NAWT. I don't think Donatella even has these words in her vocab y'all. Totally mental, totally Versace, totally love.

Not so much the jacket cos it hasn't got a collar (collarless jackets are the devil) but yes to the top and skirt underneath. Very much feeling that Greek/Italian meander pattern at the bottom of the skirt - reminds me of Classics lectures and slide after slide of ancient Italian friezes and whatnot. Anyway, kinda loving it.

Surely the piece de resistance? The already massively-blogged-about leather and gold studded dress. I'm tempted to set my alarm for 6am on Thursday JUST for this baby alone. At £180 it's not cheap but it's going to be the stand out, sell out piece - trust me!

Leather and gold belt and necklace. Yes, the second one is a necklace. BEAUT.

There are, of course, loads of other dresses, jackets, skirts, tops, leggings, bags and jewellery in the collection - even couch cushions! - but these are my personal favs. Not sure what time the Glasgow store opens on Thursday morning but I'm gonna phone and find out... See you in the queue!

What do you guys think of the collection? Also, weirdly, don't you think THIS little ditty totally works as the perfect soundtrack to these images? Go go GAGA you absolute heidcase!!

RADLEY GROSVENOR

Here, turns out Radley got cool. Who knew?!

Radley you say? No thanks, I'm not a middle-aged mum looking for a rather bland leather purse to house my M&S receipts, but cheers all the same.

........

WAIT, hear me out! Granted, Radley's not really a brand I knew/cared much about, except that their logo is that wee Scottie dug and they ain't shy about plastering it all over purses, bags, umbrellas, wallets... You name it, the dug's on it.

That was until I spotted THIS badboy. Behold, the studded Grosvenor Satchel:

 

It's black... It's leather... It's studded... It's a satchel... It MUST be mine.

This bag's still rocking a smart, sophisticated vibe, but without a Scottie dug in sight. Hurrah!

Though I am forever and always a cat lady, here's a wee promotional vid featuring 8 of the mutts, actually looking pretty damn cute if I do say so.

And, just for the ruddy hell of it, here's a wee full length photato of me from earlier today. Bad case of randomitus today...

Well helloooo rubber puss...