HAPPY (HIDEOUS) HOLIDAYS!

I'm starting to feel all festive, folks! Been looking over the myriad of Christmas party dresses and gift idea blog posts with much festive glee and eager anticipation of that famous, fat, jolly bloke sliding down my chimney in two weeks' time... BUT WHERE, OH WHERE are the posts celebrating that rare and special beast - the hideous Christmas jumper - I ask?

Nowhere to be found, so it would seem. But fear not, a quick google had thrown up these - my favourite examples of horrendous festive-wear. Enjoy this terrifying compendium and rejoice in your normality this yuletide:
 

Check out the demon snowman in the middle... Those vacant, coal eyes and evil grin haunt my nightmares.

Not only is this truly tackily boke-worthy but it's also too wee. A double-whammy of WRONG.

Look how proud she is of this awful jumper with its toe-curling pun. Maybe you can't really see her eyes cos she's actually crying bitter BITTER tears of shame at being forced to wear this piece of crap.

Not massively offensive or nowt, but that thumbs-in-pockets, model-esque stance suggests THEE most unwarranted swagger ever. Girl, look in the mirror before you strike that nonchalant pose.

Just out of shot are the men in white coats poised with huge, human-sized butterfly nets ready to pounce on this GENUINE lunatic. Terrence here chose to wear this. HE CHOSE IT. Ponder that for a second...

You know the saying less is more? Lost on this fool, who clearly believes you can never have enough tassells or ACTUAL REAL BELLS on your jumper. Mate, you is wrong.

I don't even know where to start. I think this has literally just blown my mind. Guy... On... Right...

Aw, what an adorable cheeky chappie! shame no-one will talk to him this Christmas (or ever again) thanks to his Santa hat, festive jumper and mug overkill. Social outcast forever more...

CHRISTMAS CRUELTY.

One of Snoop Doggy Dog's less ridiculous looks, but still completely mental. Several questions come to mind like why is the gangsta snowman blowing hearts out of his pipe if he's such a badass, and WHY oh WHY is it so damn long? The mind boggles.

Behind Maureen's disturbing, forced smile is a killer instinct to hunt down the bastard that got her this for the office secret Santa, and destroy them.

Surly teenager basking in shame. He's accepted his fate. No-one can help you now...

The only thing worse than those ridonculous "occupy wherever" protesters would be one with this on. Can you even imagine? Contro, but true.

And finally, because sadly, hideous festive jumpers are not confined to Christmas alone, this proud young man shows off a truly awful Hanukkah counterpart. Wipe that smile off your face, Tobias, you look like a pillock.

Ho, ho, ho, isn't it funny to laugh at others' festive-themed sartorial mishaps? You BET it is!

Ps, thanks to all who entered my Monki giveaway! Mairead was lucky winner who was chosen at totes random. More giveaways in the new year, innit.

D&G SS12

Last week in Milan, Dolce and Gabbana ("can you please spell Gabbana?") showed their last ever collection for D&G - their younger line described by The Guardian's Jess Cartner-Morely as being "aimed at a woman with the taste of a cheerleader and the bank balance of a CEO," in order to concentrate more on the mainline brand. Sad times :( I've always admired D&G's sexy sense of playfulness, epitomised best in recent years by their AW10 collection - mind the one with the wooly, fair isle print body suits and furry boots? Brilliant!

But what a way to go! This collection takes my recent penchant for Lady Gaga in Versace to dizzying new heights. Needless to say I am absolutely loving the bold, colourful prints, silk scarfs and gold jewellery, but what I love MOST is that the collection manages to go from tacky-chic to boho-chic to glamorous-chic in about ten moves. Impressive:

Tacky Chic

Boho Chic

Glamorous Chic

My favourite look is obviously tacky chic - what else did you expect?

If, next summer, busy, clashing, silky prints are all over the high street I'll be rejoicing! What do you guys think? Is this look actually wearable?

Anyway, catchye D&G, it's been fun.

ASOS CONTRO!

Dramz, dramz, dramz!

ASOS posted a few pics on their Facebook from their AW Trends collection, claiming these were the pieces that had been receiving the most hype for next season.

But oh dear, some folk REALLY did not like their offerings.

Case number one:

This look received less-than-enthusiastic comments like:

"I am not a fan of fur coats (fake or otherwise) they just look tacky! Give me a pretty leather one, or a wool military one. Fur looks nice on dogs and cats, but coats... noooo thank you! What exactly is the trend here? I'm just seeing random items?"

"A maxi dress and a fur coat? Not for autumn/winter in England... You'd have to be brave to wear a maxi with our weather :/"

"It's fashion victim material."

I felt compelled to comment. I mean, I don't LOVE this look more than life, but I do like it. I'm a sucker for a faux-fur coat and this one's divine. Plus, I defo expect to see a plethora of fur coats thrown on over maxi dresses and skirts for winter, especially in Glasgow. We do love a fur coat up here! So I chucked in my twopence:

"Some of the comments on these photos are hilarious! It's called fashion, people! Love this look, NEED that coat in my life. Snaps for ASOS :) xx"

Perhaps slightly condescending, but ASOS 'liked' it! Maybe more understandable once you see the mountain of abuse THIS pic got!

"Ha she looks like she has a deformed droopy boob out!!"

"What on earth is going on in this photo! everything is just so wrong!"

" It's like a cheap Christmas decoration, and I agree with Rhonda, does not inspire purchase at all! The photo is just wrong - she looks either drunk or stoned, the dress is awful, it doesn't look good with red socks and scarf, and it really ...does look like her boob has melted and fell into the dress... What is stylish about it? What is pretty about it? I've no idea why it would be in the most wanted! I totally do not like it. Give me something with shape, that has less glitter about it!"

"DISGUSTING! seriously LOVE fashion but why would I want to dress myself in this disgusting attire.. fashion is also about looking good.. why would I want to dress myself as a half gone old granny."

LOLZ!

Again, even although I wasn't massively in love with the shot, it was clear to me lots of folk commenting were missing the point? I had to stick up for ASOS here:

"It's an EDITORIAL shot - obviously not massively wearable in reality styled up like this. But it's selling a look, a theme, an aesthetic! I get the vibe that she's just come home after a mental night partying till dawn, hence the dishevelled hair and boots etc. The dress itself is stunning and props for styling it up a bit more rock n roll. A risk (clearly, given the comments!) but personally I think it works. Xx"

Finally, this look also caused somewhat of a divide:

"Very mediocre! Incompatible with leopard and pink powder. skirt all but ruin. "

"Oh no jacket in theory yes yes yes but that look's cheap and nasty...frufru tutu dress yes please and jacket also if it ever gets to be made looking less like a primark bargain..(not that there's anything wrong with that of course)"

And of course, the uber eloquent, "Omg vile."

By this point I was thoroughly hacked off and beginning to feel like an alien from the plant Terrible Style, since again I actually LIKED this look. I couldn't be bothered to comment my opposing opinion again...

So anyway, am I mental? What do you guys think of these looks/shots? Please tell me I'm not alone!

Although, maybe there really is no hope for me, since today I almost bought (and might actually still buy) THIS gorgeous piece of god-awful/amazing tack, because I mean who DOESN'T love a bit of inappropriate religious iconography? I KNOW I DO!

Tasteless much? I bloody love it!