I'm starting to feel all festive, folks! Been looking over the myriad of
Christmas party dresses and
gift idea blog posts with
much festive glee and eager anticipation of that famous, fat, jolly bloke sliding down my chimney in two weeks' time...
BUT WHERE, OH WHERE are the posts celebrating that rare and special beast - the hideous Christmas jumper - I ask?
Nowhere to be found, so it would seem. But fear not, a quick google had thrown up these - my favourite examples of horrendous festive-wear. Enjoy this terrifying compendium and rejoice in your normality this yuletide:
Check out the demon snowman in the middle... Those vacant, coal eyes and evil grin haunt my nightmares.
Not only is this truly tackily boke-worthy but it's also too wee. A double-whammy of WRONG.
Look how proud she is of this awful jumper with its toe-curling pun. Maybe you can't really see her eyes cos she's actually crying bitter BITTER tears of shame at being forced to wear this piece of crap.
Not massively offensive or nowt, but that thumbs-in-pockets, model-esque stance suggests THEE most unwarranted swagger ever. Girl, look in the mirror before you strike that nonchalant pose.
Just out of shot are the men in white coats poised with huge, human-sized butterfly nets ready to pounce on this GENUINE lunatic. Terrence here chose to wear this. HE CHOSE IT. Ponder that for a second...
You know the saying less is more? Lost on this fool, who clearly believes you can never have enough tassells or ACTUAL REAL BELLS on your jumper. Mate, you is wrong.
I don't even know where to start. I think this has literally just blown my mind. Guy... On... Right...
Aw, what an adorable cheeky chappie! shame no-one will talk to him this Christmas (or ever again) thanks to his Santa hat, festive jumper and mug overkill. Social outcast forever more...
CHRISTMAS CRUELTY.
One of Snoop Doggy Dog's less ridiculous looks, but still completely mental. Several questions come to mind like why is the gangsta snowman blowing hearts out of his pipe if he's such a badass, and WHY oh WHY is it so damn long? The mind boggles.
Behind Maureen's disturbing, forced smile is a killer instinct to hunt down the bastard that got her this for the office secret Santa, and destroy them.
Surly teenager basking in shame. He's accepted his fate. No-one can help you now...
The only thing worse than those ridonculous "occupy wherever" protesters would be one with this on. Can you even imagine? Contro, but true.
And finally, because sadly, hideous festive jumpers are not confined to Christmas alone, this proud young man shows off a truly awful Hanukkah counterpart. Wipe that smile off your face, Tobias, you look like a pillock.
Ho, ho, ho, isn't it funny to laugh at others' festive-themed sartorial mishaps? You BET it is!
Ps, thanks to all who entered my Monki giveaway!
Mairead was lucky winner who was chosen at totes random. More giveaways in the new year, innit.
