So by now you've probably read at least a hundred of these Golden Globes summary posts but what the hell, I'm chucking my opinion into the bitchy swill bucket that is a best and worst roundup. You know the drill.
Angelina Jolie in Atelier Versace
This is the BEST of the bests. I have never seen an Atelier Versace gown look bad on the red carpet, ever. Oh Jolie, you shut it down. Check the withering stare. SHE KNOWS this is a stone cold hit.
Claire Danes in J. Mendel
I love Claire Danes. I love her now, I loved her then (skip to 6.40), and I love her in this simple, classic monochrome J Mendel dress. It's actually backless so there's some drama going on when she turns round but I like it from the front too. She looks comfortable and elegant. Plus she brought her Maw. I LOVE YOU CLAIRE DANES.
Emma Stone in Lanvin
The colour of this Lanvin gown contrasts beautifully with Emma's porcelain skin and it's sexy yet still classy (Lea Michelle, take note). Also, I'd happily rock that phoenix-encrusted belt. I'm not falling all over myself in love with it, but it's definitely a safe all-rounder.
Evan Rachel Wood in Gucci
ERW often has the tendency to about 45 years old on the red carpet but this time she got it right. It's nice that she's not shoving her gothy side down our throats, but this Gucci number is still dark and seductive enough to kind of hint that she's a totes rebel behind the scenes. Loving the under-done makeup too. Anything else and it would have been too much. Smug it up ERW, you look fierce.
Kelly MacDonald in Lorena Sarbu
This is the best I've ever seen Kelly look. She got slightly overshadowed on the night what with Jolie, Charlize and Mila etc. stealing the limelight but this dress/overall look deserves some massive snaps. I'd maybe have liked to have seen something a bit more interesting with the hair - maybe a loose side bun? - but that's me being super pernickity. All in all this is definitely a 9.5 for me. In fact, the more I look at it the more I think it's my favourite dress of the night...
Natalie Portman in Lanvin
Loads of folk were bitching about the boxy shape of this gown and the 'distracting' side train but I really love it. We all know Natalie's got a smokin' hot bod under there and I like to see her going for something a little more structured for a change. Plus, I'm sorta feeling pink at the moment. DID I REALLY JUST SAY THAT?
Rooney Mara in Nina Ricci
The gown itself is fairly plain (similar to January Jones' red Atelier Versace from last year) but what I love most about Rooney Mara here is her makeup. It's absolutely flawless. Seriously, just look at that face. I felt the makeup was fairly tame this year, minus the odd red lip here and there, but this smouldering dark eye and fierce contouring REALLY stood out for me.
Charlize Theron in Dior
The heinous Kelly Osbourne et al were all fawning over Charlize and this disgusting sugary number complete with infantile Alice band. FOR WHY? Who knows, it absolutely escapes me. There's far to many things going on at once - that weird ruffling around the middle, random embellished bit, plunging neck, a split skirt AND a train? AND a bloody hairband? No. Just... No.
Zooey Deschanel in Prada
Oh Zooey. See, it starts well - from the armpits up I love it. Gorge face, gorge hair, gorge lime green sparkly...oh no, wait, what the hell is happening from the armpits down? I don't like the weird sideways-graduated effect of the sequins and I also don't like that slinky bias-cut skirt, which looks too long and clingy. The contrast of the colours and textures just doesn't work for me. At all.
Kate Beckinsale in Roberto Cavalli
Oh hey there, Victoria Beckham's not-so-subtle-boob-job-body circa 2007. Dated, boring, predictable. How exactly is Kate Beckinsale still relevant? Honestly, like why do we care about Kate Beckinsale? I do NOT get her.
Lea Michelle in Marchesa
Oh. My. God. This is horrendous. It's a shame because it's not really the dresses fault, it's just totally inappropriate for the Golden Globes and it clashes horribly with the frumpy up-do and general non-sexiness of Lea Michelle. That fact is clearly lost on her though - did you SEE the poses she was pulling for the paps? Positively glamour model-esque. Lea reminds me here of a bad Halle Berry who also tends to go for an overtly sexy dress and always misses the mark. This one was way off.
Nicole Kidman in Versace
Yeah, check that face out. You KNOW this is bad, doncha Nicole? Horrible colour and it does nothing for her boobs or arms. Her hair MAY have been perfectly coiffed and curled at one point, but here it looks like she got caught in the rain and didn't have time for a sneaky re-tong. Bad news.
Reece Witherspoon in Zac Posen
Someone on Twitter said Reese looked like a bad Pamela Anderson without the boobs, and I can TOTALLY see it. This Zac Posen dress is probably like ten thousand dollars or something but here it looks like cheap taffeta, and I'm not convinced it properly fits at the boobs either. Plus, get your roots done, Reese. There's no excuse.
The Dug from The Artist looking dapper.
BUT WHERE THE HELL WAS JANUARY JONES??? Shes my red carpet FAV and she wasn't there? I am distraught.
So that's my round up, whaddya all think? Have I left anyone out or been too harsh?